14 STEPS to WRITING COMPELLING SCHOLARSHIP ESSAYS

by Willette Coleman ©2013

You’re responding to a college admissions application’s short response essay or applying for public and private scholarships.  Soon, you may find yourself staring into space contemplating: “How do I craft an essay that creatively addresses the standard queries – my college plans, career goals, future contributions to society, and show how the scholarship will help with my short and long term goals?”  You may feel some intimidation, confusion, fear; or all three.  Even with the addition of essay writing to SAT tests in 2006, many students still find writing challenging. 

Hundreds of annual scholarships worth millions of $$$ are unrewarded because of the fear of writing essays.  Instead of giving up and giving in to fear, EMPOWER yourself by using these 14 steps.

1.  Self-Empowerment.  You probably didn’t expect this to be among the steps, but composing compelling personal essays is best done from a strong self-awareness position.  To tell judges about you, YOU need to know your passion, skills, experiences, strengths and weaknesses, attitude, even hardships.  A self-assessment Me-Chart helps tremendously.  As your baseline/foundation to rethink, improve, modify and polish your language to fit each scholarship application you submit, your Me-Chart should include the 7 factors listed in my post, A Game Plan for Your Career Plan – Part 1.  This tool makes you think deeply to pinpoint your uniqueness, and empowers you to build strong essays.  

2.  Generic Essay.  After you’ve created your Me-Chart, draft a personal generic essay.  It’s your OPPORTUNITY to talk about YOU and GET YOUR THOUGHTS ON PAPER or in Word.  Writing in Word helps correct spelling, grammar and word count.  But, at this starting point, don’t stress over perfection.  Your generic essay may consist of all or only some of the factors in your Me-Chart.

3.  Read your draft and begin shaping your essay like sculpture.  Add and delete words, sentences, paragraphs; shift sentences and paragraphs from one place to another to create a good flow.    

4.  Essay Opening.  Throughout the writing, editing and reading process think about your opening sentence.  Don’t stress.  A revelation may not come forward until you’ve read 4 or more drafts.  Just remember, like media headlines, your opening should be an ATTENTION GRABBER.  

  

5.  Stay On-Subject.  As I stated in, How Scholarship Applications are Judged, answer the question.  Don’t write about oranges when the provider asked for apples, unless you can show a clear correlation.

6.  WWWW&H.  Always follow the Who, What, When, Where & How rule.  Think of storytelling.  

7.  Keep it Formal.  Your overall tone should be professional, but not stiff.  Even with fun or promotional contests your essay shouldn’t read as if you’re “conversatin’” with a friend on social media.

8.  Be Creative.  “Blending” is not a good strategy when competing for a college or vocational school scholarship.  A little risk can be refreshing, so it’s okay to enhance your essay with an off-beat idea or take a different approach, but stick with the scholarship’s objective.  Following are two examples: 

            A.  Applicants for the Common Application for college admission were told to “Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.”  Drew took a risk and wrote: 

 TheJob I Should Have Quit

You can learn a lot about me from a quick glance in my closet. You’ll find no clothes, but shelves filled with motorized Lego kits, Erector sets, model rockets, remote control race cars, and boxes full of motors, wires, batteries, propellers, soldering irons and hand tools. I’ve always enjoyed building things. No one was surprised when I decided to apply to college for mechanical engineering.  [Read the entire essay and the critique here.]  

The judge concluded that Drew’s essay “succeeds in showing off his strengths at the very time it examines his weaknesses.”  Also, Drew presented a creative way to inform the judges that his passion is mechanical engineering.

            B.  Applicants were instructed to respond to the “Topic of Your Choice” section of the Common Application.   Lora wrote about

 Eating Eyeballs

[Note:  This excerpt is the 6^th paragraph into the essay.]

The first couple of meals I had in France were reassuringly familiar: a little bit of cheese, omelet, gazpacho, or quiche.  Then Patrice, Anne’s father and a marine biologist, grilled sardines the length of my hand for dinner.  His method of grilling the sardines was charring them.  I had tried charred meat before, and hadn’t liked it.  This dinner was charred, a fish, and it was looking at me with an eyeball in a head that I was going to have to eat.  Patrice explained that the best way to eat these sardines was to eat the whole thing — bones, skin, eyes, and all.  Since my French was still a little shaky, I hoped that I had misunderstood him — one of the few times I would have enjoyed feeling stupid.  [Read the entire essay and critique here.]

Although lighthearted, Lora’s essay has substance regarding her healthy attitude/ personality/character, international travel experience, and people and language skills.

9.  Transitions.  Throughout your re-reading, re-writing/editing process, make sure your essay flows smoothly from thought-to-thought and paragraph-to-paragraph.  Adding a unique detail, or anecdote, that you or someone else experienced that connects to the scholarship’s objective, can smooth transitions. 

10.  Research.  When writing about a specific topic, research supports your statement.  For example:  To meet the Foreclosure.com Scholarship Program’s task to analyze two foreclosure investment properties, then, show reasons supporting the decision, detailing investment strategy, describing “all that you would do (improvements, rehab, etc.) and how it would impact your potential bottom line,” applicants should undergird their arguments with one or two credible real estate investment facts.  [Note:  This scholarship’s deadline ended this month, but check it out in 2014.  Top prize $5,000.  Second through fifth place $1,000.] 

11.  Word Count.  As I stated in How Scholarship Applications are Judged, word count, COUNTS.  The Foreclosure.com Scholarship essay limit is 800 to 2,000 words.  A 1,999-word essay is best. 

Follow the directions in Step 3 to meet word counts.  You may even have to remove worthy information, but that’s part of the world of writing.  [Note:  Short response college essays average 500-word limit.]

12.  Action Verbs.  I’m an advocate for Action Verbs - they reflect measurable, observable, verifiable, and reliable behaviors; give your narrative movement and power; and keep it concise/tight.  Lists of action verbs are on English/grammar websites, and here. 

13.  Proofread!  Proofread!  Proofread and correct spelling, grammatical errors, tenses and synonyms.  Word won’t flag “piece,” when you meant “peace.”

14.  Re-Charge.  Set aside your essay for a day or two.  Let it marinate.  Then, proofread again.   

By now, you should feel more empowered and ready to ask your teacher, coach, parents and/or friends to read your essay.  Listen to their input, but stay confident (not ego/arrogant) in what you said and how you said it.  With confidence, you’ll decide whether to include others’ suggestions and how much.

Now get started on your Me-Chart and generic essay!  Remember…, they’re your baselines/foundations to rethink, improve, modify and polish your language to write compelling essays for each scholarship application you submit.

Magic, Miracles & Blessings,

Willette

6 TIPS TO AVOID JOB SCAMS

by Willette Coleman ©2013 

IT’s enough to be out of work and struggling to pay the rent; it’s worse that heartless and unscrupulous people prey on individuals who simply want to work and take care of themselves and their families.  These predators use unmonitored job search websites, like craigslist, to “phish” for personal information (e.g., home addresses on resumes; Internet maps can show your exact location), or lure unsuspecting applicants into job scams.  So, we all need to be careful in this “unseen virtual” world and use good instincts discussed in How to Avoid Job Scams onCraigslist.

“Angela” (name changed) didn’t follow her instincts and soon became anxious about her social security number and fingerprints being in the hands of….who?, and would she lose her money? 

This all began when Angela’s qualifications matched a tutoring job description on craigslist.  Observing no contact information and no website link, red flags waved; her gut said “let it go.”

~ Tip 1 ~

Listen to your gut!  If it doesn’t feel right, do not apply! 

Angela ignored her gut.  The perfect part-time hours fitted her schedule and, unlike other tutoring jobs, she didn’t need a car.  So, she Googled the company’s name.  The website looked authentic (but that’s easy to do).  She clicked on the “contact” tab, and dialed the Northern Virginia number.  The person who answered seemed surprised that someone was calling.  Angela explained that she wanted to be sure the ad wasn’t another job scam because no contact information was provided.   The woman, who didn’t identify herself (and Angela failed to ask her name), gave the name and email address of the individual to whom Angela should send her resume.  Within two hours, “Sallie” (name changed) acknowledged Angela’s cover letter and resume and scheduled an interview at a popular book store in a mall in a nearby suburb.  Angela was hopeful.

The November ll^th interview went well.  Angela was even encouraged to be a Tutor Coordinator and given documents explaining the company’s policies, and the job’s tasks and responsibilities; some documents needed her signature.  Sallie confirmed the job post’s statement that Angela would need to get a background check and fingerprints, and said she’d be reimbursed for the cost by the 15^th of the month, “when we cut checks.”   

 ~ Tip 2 ~

Don’t Pay a Fee for a Background Check Without ASSURANCE You Have the Job!  

Angela paid for the process without an official offer.  A week later, Angela met Sallie outside (not inside) another mall and handed her the signed documents containing her social security number, the card with her fingerprints she’d secured through the local police department, and the original receipt for the $10 fee.  Sallie, in athletic attire and pushing her carriaged one-year-old daughter, thanked a professionally dressed Angela, and reassured her she’d be reimbursed. 

~ TIP 3 ~

Don’t Fill Out Forms Online that Require Your SSN

Angela had kindly declined to put her social security number on forms via email.  Sallie said she understood.  Only the hard copies she gave Sallie had that information.  “I would prefer to keep that number safe until hired, but it is not always possible,” wrote Susan M. Heathfield in You Want My Social Security Number?  “It might cost you the employment opportunity,” but she suggests you write in the required space, “SSN available upon job offer.”  {Note:  You have no choice when filling out government job applications on www.usajobs.gov} 

 

~ TIP #4 ~

Document Emails, Receipts – Everything! 

Angela did the right thing here.  She has all her emails and hard copies of documents and the receipt.  Over the course of two weeks, Sallie emailed Angela and other candidates she’d interviewed about public and charter schools that needed tutors, and that she would confirm assignments soon.  Then, on December 6, Sallie emailed all candidates saying:

Sadly, I decided Commonwealth Education is not a good fit for me at this time.

Randi Franklin or Ryan Garton will be taking over - I forwared all of your paperwork - please check with them regarding new students, reimbursement, and payroll. For those of you waiting to be reimbursed, Randi will be sending checks out on the 15th of the month. For those of you still waiting for background checks, I will send them to Randi as I receive them.

I was such a pleasure meeting everyone and I'm sorry if this causes any future inconveniences. I wish you all the best of luck.

 [Email printed with permission, and includes the actual spelling and grammar errors.]

 

Two weeks later, Angela hadn’t heard from either individual Sallie had said would contact candidates.  She began to feel uneasy about her exposed social security number and fingerprints.  They were in the hands of….who?   So, she emailed three other individuals Sallie had interviewed and inquired whether they’d been contacted.  One person responded saying that “Janice” (name changed) had contacted her.  Angela asked for Janice’s email address and emailed her December 21.  Janice replied the same day:  [Email printed with permission.]

Thank you for emailing us.  I did receive confirmation of your fingerprints and am in the process of checking with Prince Georges County to see where we stand. You are on my list and I will get with you next week to let you know what I have found out.

Thank you for your patience and have a very joyous holiday!

Angela thought it odd they were “in the process of checking… to see where we stand.”  The craigslist’s post and Sallie’s emails had listed confirmed locations and stated that tutors only needed to be assigned.  Angela also noted that Janice didn’t mention why she hadn’t contacted her since Sallie’s departure, nor said anything about reimbursing her.  Another two weeks later, Janice hadn’t kept her promise to get back to Angela.  So, on January 17, Angela emailed Janice:

I am following up on your last email on December 21.  Although you said you would get back with me a week later, I’ve not heard from you.

I am a little concerned that no timely communications is coming from [*company name].  Therefore, I have moved forward in my job search and may not be available to tutor should a schedule be finalized. 

 

In the meantime, when [Angela gave “Sallie’s” real name] interviewed me, she said that the company would reimburse me the $10 I paid for my fingerprints.  To date, I’ve not received the reimbursement.  I would appreciate it if you would inform me of the status of reimbursement.  Also, since it appears I will not be in (*company’s name) employ, I am inquiring about your policy for returning to me my fingerprint card and all information that shows my social security number.   *Author omitted company’s name.

With no response, on February 2, Janice called the number at the start of this situation.  The individual (Angela got her name that time) took her information and concerns, and said that Janice would call her back.  She didn’t.

Angela felt scammed, and rightly so.  The company possessed her social security number, fingerprints and background information.  No job and $10 short, she had also spent valuable time and commuting funds in this employment effort.  Concerned that her identity could be at risk, Angela considered emailing the Better Business Bureau (BBB) until she learned that filing a complaint could be a waste of time. 

BBB is a private franchise – yes, franchise – not a local, state or federal government agency.  Companies can purchase membership.  Which provoked one person to ask the BBB in Canada: If all your funding comes from business, how can you be fair to the consumer?  BBB's  reply was more like a promo statement.  As a franchise and a non-profit (yes, non-profit) “…the BBB receives millions in grant money every year from the US Government,” according to Rip-off Report .  The ABC News program 20/20 investigated the BBB in November, 2010.  

While Angela’s situation may not be a scam in the word’s exact meaning, it clearly is a rip off. From now on, Angela says she won’t bypass her gut reaction, puts her P.O. Box number on her resumes (she has 5) instead of her home address, and is extra diligent about giving out her SS number. 

~ TIP #5 ~

Take the Time to Check Out Companies

Searching whether a company has a bad rap sheet takes vigilance and patience.  It’s time-consuming and tedious, but it’s worth it in the long run.  Ask:

1.     Does the company belong to a professional association?  At the time, Angela didn’t think to check the National Tutoring Association, or the American Tutoring Association.

2.     Is it licensed?  According to www.sba.gov, “Every business needs one or more federal, state or local licenses or permits to operate.”  Licenses can range from a basic operating license to specific permits.  Regulations vary by industry, state and locality.  None-compliance with regulations can lead to fines. 

3.     For a fee, Angela could have viewed the company’s business details in Dun &Bradstreet or www.hoovers.com databases. 

4.     WetFeet.com and glassdoor.com, as I noted in POWER INTERVIEWS: How to Sharpen Your Query Skills, are helpful for searching information about companies.  Keep in mind that not all companies are listed on these sites, and opinions can be bias for valid or invalid reasons.

Afterwards, Angela contacted the Virginia State Attorney General’s office and a representative said they covered such cases and instructed Angela to download and mail the multi-page complaint form on their website.  She sent the document by certified mail.  Some four months later, the Attorney General’s office replied:  “Your complaint is not in our jurisdiction.”  

Six months later, another Commonwealth Education representative emailed Angela:  [Partial email printed with permission.]

Regarding your query about fingerprints, I do not believe we ever received anything from PG County with your fingerprints.  If we still have any docs in our office with your ssn, we will gladly mail them back to you (along with a check for $10).  Please send me your address so we can get a check sent to you.

Again, my sincerest apologies for our oversight on this matter,…

Angela sent her address, and corrected him that:

An email from Randi Franklin on December 21, 2011 confirmed that Commonwealth Education received confirmation regarding my fingerprints.  [Author's emphasis.]

Angela never heard from anyone from Commonwealth Education again.  Frustrated, she filed a review on www.yelp.com. 

At least Angela’s experience wasn’t deadly as it was for three unfortunate men who responded to a job posted on craigslist to work on an Ohio cattle farm.  On November 18, 2011, WEWS-TV reported the scam led to one man’s death and the other injured.   Another man’s body was found on the farm ten days later.

~ Tip ~

Don’t Let a Desperate Need for money Place You in a Questionable Situation

and

ALWAYS FOLLOW TIP 1!

If you’ve been scammed, ripped off or undeservedly disappointed, I’m listening.

WORKPLACE and the F-WORD or Fun & Work: Can They Just Get Along?

by Willette Coleman ©2013

Generally, you look for a company where you can efficiently and effectively use your knowledge and skills in your job search.  Right?  Right.  Well, there’s one other thing you might look for – Fun.  

Knowing whether a company’s culture includes fun will give you some insight into the employer’s management style.  Are employees made to feel like prisoners?  Or, does management show appreciation and incorporate fun?  “Putting subtle cues in the environment that can suggest fun can be a powerful motivator,” Juliano Laran, Assistant Professor, Marketing, University of Miami, School of Business, said in Hans Villarica’s article, To Keep Willpower from Flagging, Remember the F-Word: ‘Fun’.

Some managers consider fun in the workplace to be a distraction, unprofessional and not taking your work seriously, assuming that joking and laughing on the job means you’re goofing off.  If done too often and for long stretches of time during the work hours, those concerns have merit.   Nonetheless, employers are embracing the F-word to the extent of creating “fun committees” or appointing “a mirth manager” to schedule joyful and de-stressing events during work, without employees sacrificing their lunch hour.  “This openness” says Paul McGhee, PhD, author of Changing Corporate Perceptions of the Value of Humor, “has led many CEOs to consider the idea of putting humor and fun to work, to support the bottom line.”

Playfair, with a mission to increase fun-in-the-workplace awareness, says that business managers are beginning to understand that, “Having fun isn’t the same as goofing off.  It is a way to bolster productivity, teamwork and company loyalty by showing workers they are appreciated.”  In 1996, Playfair designated April 1st (or the first Thursday in April, if April 1 falls on a weekend) as International Fun at Work Day.  Initially, they were reluctant to associate the occasion with April Fool’s Day, “Then we realized it was actually the perfect time to spotlight the notion that fun, especially at work, does not have to equal foolish.”  No foolishness means, “non-toxic humor; absolutely no sarcasm, put-downs, or offensive jokes that targets any particular group or minority.” 

I’m fortunate to have worked in two environments where the managers embraced the F-word.  The former branch manager of the DC Public Libraries was unique among the 25 neighborhood branches.  Major Shackleford encouraged staff to participate in events - yoga, dance classes, meditation, health seminars, lectures, movies and plays - that took place at the library.  Without shirking our duties, we could get involved in any activity, if we chose.  Staff also had fun planning and managing the monthly yard sale fundraiser.  Mr. Shack, as many employees called him, encouraged me to produce a quarterly newsletter for the “Friends” of the branch, as he’d observed that, for me, writing and researching, while labor intensive, was (and is) fun.  A kind and caring man, Shack made sure staff celebrated birthdays, retirements or promotions.  He also gave each staff member a generous appreciation bonus each Christmas, out of his own pocket.  Even after retirement, Mr. Shack continues to surprise us with his generosity. 

The former executive director of a small national profit, Linda Haithcox, who loves to bake, make homemade ice cream (yummy!), and entertain, is the other F-word embracer.  The loyal sports fan orchestrated football fantasy competitions, betting (no money) whose team would win the season.  Staff birthdays and milestones were always celebrated at an upscale restaurant of choice.  We went to Atlantic City and danced until 3:00 A.M for her birthday.  Charitable events included buying new clothes for orphans during Christmas, and having staff and board members participate in community service, such as at the organization’s 2010 Economic Development Conference, where they got sweaty, dirty and laughed a lot while helping Habitat for Humanity help New Orleans, LA Katrina victims rebuild their homes.  And, I’ll always remember the fun staff had decorating individual White House Christmas tree ornaments.  “I’m afraid I won’t find another place to work where there’s so much laughter,” an intern lamented as her year’s stay at the organization ended. 

Fun is a healthy component to work that increases productivity and reduces stress what with going to meetings, traveling, and meeting company deadlines and goals.  Reduced stress and relief from corporal tunnel syndrome, eyes, back and neck strain from long hours sitting at computers translates to better health.  Better health translates to employees taking fewer sick days.  Decreased sick days translate to a cost-saving bottom line for employers that provide health insurance for employees.  

Finally, the F-word makes us smile.  “Smiling is a natural drug,” Dr. Stibich, adjunct faculty member of the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine, said in Top 10 Reasons to Smile.  “Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin.  Together these three make us feel good.”   

Finding Companies that Embrace the F-Word.  Olivera Perkins’ article, Northeast Ohio Companies Encourage Employees to Have Fun at Work, sites examples of companies that subsidize on-site message therapy sessions; have free fitness centers and offer rejuvenation stations with cushy recliners and cleansing ocean sounds.  To find F-word-friendly companies, you’ll need to do some research.  Technology companies, the arts organizations and those that focus on education, philanthropy and enriching the lives of others appear to lead the pack as fun places to work.  Some careers, such as cartoonist, photographer, writer, website designer and clown, are inherently fun.  McGhee says companies today must “find ways to make work enjoyable, if they want to survive and thrive in the 21st century.” 

Fun Ideas for the Workplace.      

• Traveling Bouquet.  Give a bouquet of flowers to a co-worker.  Say:  “Keep this on your desk for the next hour.  Then pass it on to someone else and tell them to do the same.” 
• Company Limo Lottery.  Hold a lottery where the winner is driven to and from work in a limo for a day or week.  Don’t have a company limo?  Rent one. 
• Offer employees unusual gifts (e.g., free housecleaning certificates) to show your appreciation. 
• On-site Masseuse  - weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. 
•  Pop-champagne Wednesday (or sparkling apple juice).  Comedian Sinbad  popularized Wednesday as “hump day.”  Each Wednesday, toast each other for successes and fabulous failures of the past week.
• Add 5-minute “stretch-n-breathe” breaks (preferably every hour or two)
• Take “Joy Breaks” during the day, and enjoy low-tech games like marbles, ball-and-jacks, or building a 5,000 piece puzzle.
• On-site exercise, yoga, dance or juggle classes (juggling has HUGE brain benefits). 
• Celebrate new accounts, employees’ career milestones, or the company’s existence. 
• Chili or barbecue cook-offs; Easter egg dyeing and decorating.
• More tips at   11 Easy Ways to Make Work Fun 

Hal Rosenbluth, former CEO of Rosenbluth International, and consultant for Walgreen’s healthcare services, told Dr. McGhee that it’s “almost inhumane if companies create a climate where people can’t naturally have fun….  Our role and responsibility as leaders and associates is to create a place where people can enjoy themselves.”

So, the verdict is in:  Fun and work CAN get along!  They merge to create an environment where people WANT to work and are motivated to provide quality services and products. 

Is your workplace F-word friendly?  If so, share.

Magic, Miracles & Blessings,

Willette